Josh,

All I can say is: "Thank goodness you will never read this."

As a number of other people have pointed out, you are quite well liked round here and, to be honest, we would all be concerned if:

a, you truly learnt the extent of some of our obsessions and
b, it changed you in any way.

In a Bridget Jones kinda way, we like you 'just the way you are'. We can all say what we really want too, knowing that it is highly unlikely that you will ever strain your pretty green eyes reading all these queries. It kinda gives people a subconcious sense of freedom, which is nice. It means that anything ever written here is written from the heart

So, knowing that you will never read this, but always hoping for a sunnier day, I just wanted you to know that if you ever do overcome your aversion to technology and flick through these posts, you will know that we all love you lots and wish you well.